summer 06

so i am growing

It is April, and we have about a month left of school.  I am for sure staying here.  Oh the fights that go on inside of me.  I fight with what i want to do, and where i want to go.  But once again i am deciding to stay here.  it is easier here.  I don't have to deal with my home life. because what is a family anymore?  I do however, would love to go to uk and just live with my best friend, and pursue something other than ministry, and experience life a little bit.  but i have come to the conclusion that this is where i am supposed to be.  and i know i will keep fighting it, but it is kinda hard to fight with God. 

I have been growing, pretty much like nature when it comes alive in the spring, so has my heart, and my life.  I have realized that when a tree falls down in a forest and no one is there to hear it, it does make a noise.  How does it make a noise?  Well God was there to hear it.  That was kind of how my heart and life were a few months ago.  They were broken and i thought no one was there to hear them fall apart, but they made a noise.  And now I am getting stronger. 

I love Spring and summer!  and so stoked for this summer because i am going to be working at camp again.  but it is my last year :(  i love that place though. and i will be working at ruby tuesday as well.  I will be home with my family and friends.  I also got an awesome opportunity to lead a soccer camp for a week during the summer! that is going to be awesome!  but this summer might be a little weird.  because my group of friends are all broken.  My friends from jbc are going to be so far away from me.  and my friends from home are no longer friends anymore.  I don't see how people and dump their old friends who they have known for so long, for people who they just met a year ago.  That is why i am still best friends with my friends from home, because i don't dump them.  oh gosh.  oh well it is going to be a fun summer nonetheless. 

kind of a side note: I am glad that people change sometimes.  Sometimes i wish they hadn't changed because they would be such awesome people, but i know that change is a process of growing up.  But, change helps me see the person they once were and shows me who they are now.  and it helps me move on from what i felt for them.  Now, i will always remember who they were and love them for that.  but I can go on with life because they will never be the same.  the ship has sailed.  A new ship embarks.  Once a friend, always a friend.

Break of Spring

i haven't updated for a while because i have to go to the computer lab because this program doesn't work on my computer. i don't know why, maybe viruses, cuz my computer rocks and stops them before they start!

ok so change is good!  sometimes...   I want to be the person I was, but I am finally experiencing things that I would have never experienced.  I totally went bungee jumping during spring break.  i was flippin scared and i almost didn't do it. i went head first! it was fun!  Also, a little x rated, i went skinny dipping in the ocean...during the day! hhaha don't worry, the water was dark enough no one could see.  teehee.  but spring break was fun. not the best because i went with two couples but i had my share of fun.  Secrets, all secrets.  but i did enjoy being single!  WONDERFUL! haha

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!  SERIOUSLY THEY ARE AMAZING AND EVERYONE OF THEM IS VERY NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART.  I HOPE THEY STAY AS CLOSE AS THEY ARE!!!  I AM BEST!